I felt a convulsion of impulse  

Rip right through  

My sweetened inclination  

To do what I must do 

It came on a sleepy afternoon 

With nothing much of note 

To define its ragged edges 

That bled like smoke 

The possibilities spat 

And crackled 

Like sparks from  

a temperamental flame 

All of the moments to come 

Hurtling towards me  

Like comets  

From unknowable distances  

They were heavy

With latent promises 

Too many to count 

Too many to be 

If only I had tried on a single bad decision  

Let messy indiscretion take hold 

Maybe 

I’d finally like to begin to peacefully grow old